Friends:the truth and the rumours
by Priyamanavale
Summary: Note: there are two Rosses. And Monica's brother is not the one starring in this. But he'll be bak soon. Please read and revies soon.
1. Default Chapter

(Phoebe walks into the Café and sits down next to Joey.)  
  
P- hey Joey.  
  
J- hey..  
  
P- what's with the really happy face! (sarcastically said.)  
  
J- Oh nothing  
  
P- tell me.I wanna know.  
  
J- it's nothin  
  
P- Oh, stop being a whoos!  
  
J- it's just that, he moved out and I'm really heart broken. There's no one for me and I don't like it.  
  
P- I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! Your gay!  
  
J- No!!!  
  
P- It's Ok Joey. It's really ok.  
  
(Phoebe edges away from Joey.  
  
P- so who's the unlucky guy.  
  
J- I'm not gay! It's Chandler.  
  
P- you're gay with Chandler! But he's gonna marry Monica. You should tell her.  
  
J- God Phoebe! I'm not gay with anyone, it's just that when Chandler left, the spirit of the house is gone.  
  
P- you know.I did hear Rachel tell me there were things breaking in your house.  
  
J- I'm not gay!!  
  
(Joey leaves)  
  
P- He's in denial.  
  
(Rachel comes in)  
  
R- you know something.  
  
P- I don't know anything. And everything should be left to be found out eventually.  
  
R- Phoebe. I didn't finish.  
  
P- Oh.sorry.  
  
R- you know my boss, he's such a lazy asshole.  
  
P- I knew you were sleeping with your boss.  
  
R- No!!  
  
P- then how'd you see his asshole.  
  
R- Phoebe!  
  
(walks out with a cup of coffee.)  
  
P- my friends are all in denial.  
  
(At the apartment)  
  
Ro- do you know where Rachel is?  
  
R- Right over here.  
  
Ro-hi  
  
R- hi Ross. You ok?  
  
Ro- yeah sure.  
  
Ro- you going anywhere tonight?  
  
R- are you asking me out?  
  
Ro- oh c'mon! I'm not that desperate to date a rebound girl.  
  
R- I'm not on the rebound.  
  
Ro- Denial Rachel won't help at all! So when do you get fired?  
  
R- what did Phoebe have a psychic transferring thing connecting to you.  
  
Ro- No, your boss called up and said he didn't like it.  
  
R- He didn't!  
  
Ro- I knew it!  
  
R- no no no! This is for my idea as a project.  
  
Ro- Sure.  
  
(Exits to the bathroom.)  
  
(America)  
  
C- don't you just love our pre wedding honeymoon.  
  
M- I really do. It's really great sitting here in a tent, in front of a cabin.  
  
C- Oh c'mon Monica. It's nice if you think about it.  
  
M- yeah when I think about my nice apartment.  
  
C- you got to get used to it.  
  
M- that's it Chandler. I'm packing my bags. I'm going back home.  
  
C- ok let's go.  
  
M- I'm getting married to him. Gee what am I thinking?  
  
C- I heard that.  
  
M- Oh really. So that means god must have heard that too!  
  
(At the apartment)  
  
Ro- isn't it sad that no one remembers you?  
  
R- what are you talking about?  
  
Ro- you know. On this special occasion of yours?  
  
R- huh?  
  
Ro- oh c'mon! Stop pretending. Your birthday!  
  
R- Ross my birthday's finished already.  
  
Ro- doesn't lie. I got the proof.  
  
(he goes into a bedroom, picks up a diary and shows it to Rachel.)  
  
R- Ross, that's Monica's diary.  
  
Ro- then why does it have your name on it?  
  
R- Ross look at the top of the diary! It says TO MONICA! And at the bottom it says FROM RACHEL!  
  
Ro- I knew that! So you're not the one who dreamt about me?  
  
R- What? No! Oh my god! Give me that diary! You've been reading it haven't you?  
  
Ro- Fine! Here!  
  
(Ross exits)  
  
R- I'll just put it back in her drawers.after I read it! (three hours later Monica and Chandler walk in)  
  
M- Hey Rachel!  
  
R- oh hi!  
  
C- Hey Rachel!  
  
R- hi. Can you believe this?  
  
M- What?  
  
R- you thought Joey was hot!  
  
M- how do you.hey! You're reading my diary!  
  
C- you thought Joey was hot?  
  
M- it was a figure of speech.  
  
R- Oh yeah. And so were his eyes and his glistening smile.  
  
M- you had no right to read my diary! Traitor!  
  
C- you though he had a good smile?  
  
M- it was two years ago.  
  
R- Actually two weeks before you proposed to her. I'll keep my mouth shut now!  
  
M- Good idea! This is so utterly wrong. I go away for one day and my diary is already read! How'd you find it? I kept it where you wouldn't look! In my underwear drawer.  
  
R- Ross! That pervert! He found your diary! (she laughs) He's got the hots for you Monica!  
  
C- you thought Joey was cute?  
  
M- What? It was a long time ago and shut up Rachel! It feels like a long time ago anyways!  
  
R- Oh not to mention, you dreamt about Ross. (she laughs)  
  
C- you dreamt of him?  
  
M- As I said. Long time ago. Couldn't even measure in light years.  
  
R- actually you could. Three weeks!  
  
C-I'm marrying a woman who has the hots for two of my friends! (he faints!)  
  
M- Chandler!  
  
(he wakes up a bit)  
  
C- did you have sex with him in your dream.  
  
M- Yeahh.it was grea.I mean terrible.  
  
(he faints again)  
  
M- I'll never forgive you.  
  
R- I'm really sorry. Really. (she laughs) You had sex with Ross!  
  
(In the streets)  
  
P-Hey Ross!  
  
Ro-hey!  
  
P-you know Joey is gay?  
  
Ro- really?  
  
P- but he's in denial. Don't talk to him about it. Oh my god! Here he comes now! Hi Joey!  
  
Ro- Hi Joey! That was said in a non-gay way. I'm not attracted to you or anything I was just saying hi. You know in a manly way. (He punches Joey in a manly way) Hey I didn't mean to touch you. It was in manly and non-gay way. It's cool right. Not cool cool! Not in a gay way but like its cool and.  
  
P-Shut up Ross! He means non-gay as in he's not happy.  
  
Ro- yeah that's what I mean. Ok I have to go now.  
  
P- me too  
  
J- Hey.I'm not Gay! (everyone in the streets stare at him) What!! 


	2. Friends No comment!

C- Joey, I can't believe it!  
  
J- What?  
  
C- that she thought that you had a great smile and glistening eyes!  
  
J- Who? What was her name?  
  
C- Her name was Monica and she was supposed to be my future bride.  
  
J- why can't you believe it? Am I not that attractive to you or something?  
  
C- yes! I mean no.  
  
J- excuse me Mr. Brad Pitt. I had no idea.  
  
C- what I meant is that she's going to marry me, how could she betray me like that. By the way why are you acting like we are gay.  
  
J- I'm not! And why does everyone think that I'm gay!  
  
C- No comment!  
  
J- What??  
  
(In the apartment)  
  
P- hey Rachel  
  
R- hi Phoebe  
  
P- how's work?  
  
R- for your information I'm not having sex with my boss!  
  
P- Then who are you having it with?  
  
R- no one! Absolutely nobody!  
  
(the phone rings and Phoebe picks it up)  
  
P- it's for you. It's your boss. Maybe he wants another night!  
  
R- tell him I'm not here.  
  
P- ok  
  
(she tells him and he replies. She then hangs up the phone.)  
  
R- well what did he say?  
  
P- well duh! You slept with the guy what do you expect?  
  
R- I didn't sleep with the guy so I wouldn't know!  
  
P- well liar you got promoted.  
  
R- Yippee! I knew my work would one day pay off!  
  
P- you slept with your boss!  
  
R- no no no! I did some work on some designs and that's why I got promoted!  
  
P- save it for hell!  
  
(she exits and Ross comes in)  
  
R- can you believe Phoebe! She thinks I'm having sex with my boss and that's why I got a promotion!  
  
Ro- Yes! I can believe her.  
  
R- I'm don't go that low you know!  
  
Ro- Na! I don't know!  
  
R- I'm getting outta here. I didn't sleep with my boss!  
  
(Monica comes in)  
  
M- who slept with their boss?  
  
Ro- Rachel!  
  
M- really?  
  
R- no Ross! You shouldn't tell Monica!  
  
Ro- so you did sleep with him?  
  
R- no!  
  
M- stop! I know the perfect solution!  
  
R- what?  
  
M- I'm telling everybody!  
  
R- why?  
  
M- you ruined my marriage!  
  
R- what marriage?  
  
M- my future marriage!  
  
R- I only told Chandler!  
  
M- only told Chandler! Telling Chandler is like telling the whole world!  
  
(Chandler walks in)  
  
His mouth is so big that whenever he talks people in Greenwich can hear him!  
  
(Rachel starts waving for Monica to stop talking)  
  
Telling him, and then he tells Joey one of his other big mouth friends!  
  
R- hi Chandler!  
  
(Monica looks at Rachel and mouths Chandler!)  
  
C- hi Rachel. Hi Monica. I came to apologise.  
  
M- oh you don't need to  
  
C- you're damn right I don't have to!  
  
M- you heard everything.  
  
C- you think! I mean when you talk Martians can hear you!  
  
M- I'm sorry CHANDLER!  
  
R- I'll be going now!  
  
M- you're going nowhere!  
  
C- I can't believe this. One minute together in a romantic place talking how we hate that place and now your back chatting me. You don't offer me anything. You never told me how good I look!  
  
M- Chandler!  
  
R- are you gay?  
  
C- no! why does everyone thing that?  
  
M+R- no comment!  
  
C- what??  
  
J- I love my life.  
  
Ro- I don't  
  
J- hey Ross.  
  
Ro- that said in a non-gay way right?  
  
J- no! lets get it on you know what I'm saying!  
  
(Ross runs out)  
  
J- hahahaha. That will teach them.  
  
(Ross is walking down the street when a lady bumps into him.)  
  
Ro- sorry lady.  
  
L- I'm sorry. I thought everyone had a name and yours must be Ross!  
  
Ro- Mother!  
  
M- hello darling. How's Rachel?  
  
Ro- I'm.why do you care about Rachel!  
  
M- she's gonna be your future wife slash mother of my grand daughter!  
  
Ro- Mum! I'm not that desperate!  
  
M- no comment!  
  
Ro- What??  
  
(Rachel leaves the apartment and goes to Joey's house)  
  
R- hey Joey!  
  
J- hey! No fair! I'm not gay!  
  
R- let me guess? Phoebe!  
  
J- Yeah.. how did you know?  
  
R- she's spreading rumours about me sleeping with my boss to get a promotion!  
  
J- she's telling everyone that I'm gay!  
  
R- oh!  
  
J- you know what we should do?  
  
R- what?  
  
J- sleep with each other?  
  
R- no! I'm not that desperate!  
  
J- ha! So you have been sleeping with the boss!  
  
R- no!  
  
(Joey starts playing with a maroon pencil nearby)  
  
J- you know this colour would suit my skin tone. My god!! I'm gay! Sleep with me Rachel!  
  
R- your gay but I'm not sleeping with you! You know I hate it when people make you into something your not. (She poses) I mean do I look like someone who would sleep with the boss to get a promotion?  
  
J- no comment!  
  
R- what?  
  
(at the apartment Ross is rummaging through Phoebe's stuff. He finds a video. He watches it and he sees Phoebe making out with Joey. Eventually they stop and Phoebe runs out.)  
  
Ro- man! This is something for everyone to see!  
  
P- what are you doing here?  
  
Ro- what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Joey?  
  
P- you saw the video!  
  
Ro- yeah, it was cool! I mean very sick. Nearly vomited!  
  
P- I can explain!  
  
Ro- no need. I found a perfect logical explanation.  
  
P- ok! What is it?  
  
Ro- you made out with Joey because you were attracted to him! Hahahaha  
  
P- no!  
  
(Ross runs out before Phoebe can talk to him)  
  
(Everyone is in the apartment except Phoebe)  
  
(They all know about Phoebe's little past!)  
  
J- I can't believe she taped it!  
  
P- taped what.  
  
R- oh here she comes!  
  
M- you know I might have thought that Joey and Ross were cute and I might have dreamt of having Ross in my bed but I never did it!  
  
Ro- you did! Oh my god! Cool!  
  
M- Damn my stupid mouth!  
  
C- agreed!  
  
R- yeah and I might be having a promotion but I didn't have sex with him for it! J- I might act gay but that doesn't mean I am!  
  
P- yeah right!  
  
R- at least we didn't make out with Joey and film it!  
  
P- how do you know.Ross!  
  
Ro- present!  
  
C- why did you do it anyway!  
  
J- what! Does a lady have to have a reason to kiss me!  
  
Everyone- Yes!  
  
M- yeah why did you do it!  
  
J- actually I can answer that!  
  
P- shut up!  
  
M- tell us!  
  
J- I caught her making out with her boss who was gay and to make her secret safe, she had to make out with me in front of a video camera.  
  
R- so that's where you get your ideas! From your doings  
  
P- oh c'mon! You don't believe Joey! I mean do I look like I would sleep with my boss when I knew he was gay!  
  
Everyone- No comment! 


End file.
